Meat?

I have to tell you all about a very traumatic experience in my life. I'll spare you some of the who's, what's, where's, when's, but you'll be asking yourself the same question I till this day keep asking myself…WHY? 

What I witnessed in all its horrifying glory was a man eat a can of tiny, processed beyond all comprehension, tightly packed, Vienna Sausages…with a pencil! Yes! As if voluntarily ingesting these little slimy tubed meat things packed in some sort of "juice" wasn't bad enough, he slowly and methodically, with the precision of a skilled surgeon inserted his pencil (freshly pealed from behind his ear mind you) into the heart of the middle "meat" tube. Then, with a steady hand and a hungry heart he gave a little wriggle a little twist and a pull on the pencil and successfully dislodged the first tasty morsel and quickly and eagerly consumed it. The rest stood no match and were quickly gobbled up after being shot by some creepy makeshift cupid arrow. 

Now, two things…one, if you have any respect for yourself or your body I beg you to please never eat such a product. Who knows what is in it, what's its made of, where it came from etc. I have some ideas though, nothing good for you, all the parts of the pig that didn't "make the grade" (genitals included), some factory/processing plant in who knows where that probably hasn't passed a health inspection since CW's worn shorts. Two, if you find yourself using a nice Ticonderoga No. 2 as your lunch utensil of choice, I hope they find you and you get off the island soon or you have some serious sanitary issues that need to be addressed pronto. 

Seriously, don't eat that crap, look at the picture, they look like a fresh round pulled from Dirty Harry's .57 magnum. Little processed bullets you'll take right to the heart. Don't be like this guy, make some better food choices, and maybe more importantly better life choices. I'm done.