I do not consider myself a particularly religious person but I would say that I am spiritual one. Understanding the difference between the two may be difficult for some but not all. There is one overwhelming aspect of religion that I grew up with and has carried with me for all my adult years. The Seven Deadly Sins. Greed, Gluttony, Wrath, Sloth, Pride, Lust and Envy. I truly believe that constant self reflection is necessary to not fall victim to any of these fatal flaws - yes they're fatal.
I want to reflect on Envy for just a moment. What is it to be envious and what is it to be jealous? I'm not saying I'm dead on, but it's my blog post so tough shit. This is the way I look at it. In my opinion, it’s not bad to be jealous. It’s not healthy to allow it to consume you but it is not good be complacent and let life pass you by. To me jealous means I care, it reminds me to push and to live everyday with my very best self forward. It's the fear that a worthy competitor will take the next stride in front of me, my lifting partner will get one more rep, or a colleague will get published before I do. To be jealous is to look at someone and WANT what they have but you COULD have it. You just weren't willing to sacrifice and go through pain to get it. It wasn't important enough for you to be uncomfortable. Do be jealous might mean you let yourself settle and accept your current situation because quite frankly you didn't give a fuck. So, what is it like to be envious?
Envy is all consuming. Envy will paralyze you with negative thoughts. Envy is to look at another person and be CONSUMED with jealousy that they are more *blank* or that they have more *blank* than you. They may have better cheek bones or thicker hair and that makes you envious of their beauty. They may have been born into a wealthy lineage or had a trust fund and you didn't. They have a genius level IQ or are the height you wish you were. Envy is to not just want but covet something that you have ZERO ability to change. The thoughts running through your mind no matter how hard you push, how badly you want something, and what you're willing to sacrifice can change that fact. THAT is envy! It is an ugly, all consuming and life altering state of mind. Be careful my friends - this is a question you may have to ask yourself more than you want to admit. "Am I jealous or?.. Oh shit! I'm envious!" Scary realization but not a dead end. We are are all blessed with amazing qualities and making sure we are thankful for our true character and what makes us beautiful is to be happy with yourself.
I am a competitive son of a bitch and I need to reflect on that daily. As I said, I am not a religious man but I have my outlet to "pray". I have the place in MY life where I can connect inside my own head and be at peace with me.
To quote one of my favorite artists: "This is my church / This is where I heal my hurts / It’s a natural grace / Of watching young life change / It's in minor keys / Solutions and remedies / Enemies becoming friends / When bitterness ends / This is my church." He was speaking about the recording studio. I am speaking of CPC. It's not just a place of business or where I see my friends - It’s my outlet. It’s where I find MY peace.
The realization is that we are surrounded by temptations daily that will pull us in towards those seven deadly sins. Being in touch with who you are and remain damn proud of the beautiful things you contribute to everyone else's lives will help keep you away from at least one...
~Sully
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